murphyormel

wacky reflections from a nutcracker wannabe

Category: Contest

“Mom, you just make it awkward.”

Ahhh, the wonders of the 14-year-old vernacular!  And just when I finally get that funny, “fierce” selfie thing down.

Keep in mind, I’m not anywhere near the track suit type of mini-van mama.  I like my boots over skinny jeans, a kick ass suit with a great pair of heels, my tattoos, MC Yogi, and a manual transmission, so to hear my girlie-girl and make-up-loving, fashionista tell me, “Mom, you make it awkward” is slightly disconcerting. In fact, together, we chalk-boarded our newly themed, IKEA style great room to compliment a rockin’ red couch and black/white polka dot rug just this week. No framed embroidery or large silver plated utensils on walls for us!  But I’m awkward?  Lol, I prefer her previous comment, “…you are limited edition..”. 🙂

So, with “limited edition” in mind, and in the spirit of another grand year of silliness in front of us, please enjoy some unshared ‘Murphy or Mel’ moments……

– My daughter needed some teeth pulled before the braces could be completed, so of course I encouraged her to place them under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy.  She rolled her eyes, but she is 14, and well, come on, needs cash.  Rushing out early and distracted the next morning, I completely failed in my role to call on the Tooth Fairy, and no cash was discovered.  Well, I wasn’t admitting fault, so I fixed the situation.  The second morning, I left a note, cash and signed the belated note, “Congrats…..love, E.B”.  Upon returning home, my daughter happily announced, “I’m happy for the cash, but the Tooth Fairy signed the note from the Easter Bunny.”

–  Regular gym girl for 10+ years and practicing yogini for over 12.  But last year, I found a way to sprain my ankle AT the gym AFTER the workout while walking DOWN the stairs.

–  Traveled to KY last year with teeth intact. (there is a sentence I never expected to type.) Needed a treat on the way out-of-town, and my love for the Bit O-Honey caught my eye.  Well, it also caught the top half of an entire molar, and so I left KY without all my teeth.  Fitting?  (Sorry, Zac and Alyssa. UK rocks. 🙂

–  Last year, the entire family traveled to Tahoe, CA for a week of skiing/boarding, skating and snow tubing. Finally my old travels offered a perk as my standing with Budget saved us.  I had pre-booked an SUV for eight days in Park City, UT.  (and yes, I asked permission before hugging Dan the Budget man after he fixed a Mel travel misadventure.)

–  Pumping gas then driving away while the hose is still attached does happen to real people you know.

–  Just today, while (not) speeding home from Chi-Town, I was singing (not loudly) to old school Maroon 5, and I got caught.  Not the, “I can fake it like I’m on the phone”, the “Look at her- she is belting it out stare”.  Again, teeth become an issue.  This trucker appeared to be missing several.  But the wave, priceless.

–  Why do people insist on texting me while they know I’m driving long distances?  I need reading glasses to see the type on my phone or computer, so I have to live with that darn dot that says, “open me” when I can’t while driving.  It is like the itch you can’t reach, right?

Perhaps I really am awkward.

Nope, just lucky to be ok with my quirkiness.

Cheers to the silliness, laughter, humility, grace both when the jump rope is up AND down, and being confident enough to laugh over my OCD for making the bed immediately following the alarm but rarely tightening a lid for anything in the fridge.  (come to think of it, there might be a blog for the opposing forces of my OCD and flakiness ….note to self.)

Namaste, Mel

p.s.  Teeth are an under appreciated part of the body.  Until they are missing, folks simply take them for granted.

Grow a goiter, get a goiter.

Four years ago in an effort to win a work halloween costume contest, I created a character.  I don’t have a Crazy Aunt Delilah, but I thought something bigger than life and more creative than the standard Target purchase was a must.  I was, afterall, the quirky (or I liked to imagine) head of the Marcomm team for a medical equipment company.

I visited the local thrift shop and selected a lovely floral housecoat but jazzed up my look with hot pink lipstick (over the teeth of course), many pearls, a flowing black Hannah Montana wig and a fantastically designed goiter with those awful nude colored pantyhose no woman ever chooses unless she is over 80.  (forgive me grandma, your knee highs were darling, and we loved you for being fearless to wear them as kneehighs.  You, HS, rocked a pair!). Crazy aunt Delilah, not so much.

The New York accent was a hit and the boa got me many hugs and several bizarre looks from the uptight stiffs in the office.  Nonetheless, $100 at stake, and I wanted that prize.

I only took second.

HOWEVER, the goiter crafted by pantyhose actually became a real goiter two years later.  Karma or Murphy’s law?

I should definitely get my $100 now.

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