I thank you for loving me.
I am privileged to have had many, many wonderful people love me in this life. Each of those who do today, or have loved me in the past, have been a teacher and gift-giver. Through tears. Through laughter. Through joy and drama and dress up and sweat. Through dares of silliness and darkness of hurt. Through meditation and prayer. So many of you. I thank you for loving me.
You have sent me silly notes, beautiful flowers, read to me, told me ghost stories and held my hand. You have dropped off gluten-free goodies at my door or sent inspirational quotes or murphy moments of your own to make me laugh. You have started dance floors, walked through snow, run through mud, been tattooed, ordered silly drinks, taught me to ride a bike, walked along city streets, traveled all over the globe, skipped along side me, suffered in silence on long drives, or sung loudly to songs only I would like. You’ve been caught underage with me. You skipped school with me. You drove me to the hospital when the diagnosis came and came again….and still again. So many of you. I thank you for loving me.
I am blessed for what each of you have gifted me in growth. It hasn’t always been easy, and more than a few times, loss has hurt like hell, but I’m stronger and with age, listening closely to each grand lesson.
This sudden strike of hurt parallels the likes of a hurricane. You know it is coming, and yet, while preparing and seeking cover, the blow is still internally painful and alters the landscape while we ride the wave. It is just that, interpersonal suffering. But it is only a wave. That blow ends. And something new gently unfolds.
This is the gift. The path of our truth and personal landscape comes from each of these wonderful souls along the wave – sometimes blowing in like the strong gusts of wind in a storm. We ride the wave as the feeling isn’t forever. It comes and goes. It ebbs and flows. It balances us and sometimes tosses us high in the air for that deep-down giggle or sharply drops us as we feel the sting of reality. A reality that forever changes the person we were the day just prior.
Sometimes the strangest and most profound friendships come into our lives when we least expect- for reasons unknown to us. In fact, we may not even like or remember you at first. Some friendships dissipate, but they always leave a mark. These souls may encourage us to want more, to ask for the order, to start or finish something, to begin again, to find our truth, to follow our heart, to change, to let go, to leave when it is right, to help us find courage or beauty we can’t see inside ourselves, to live authentically, to truly know love, to love again, to say thank you, to forgive, to get help, to be a better person or parent or friend. Perspective from outside of our own head is healthy and a gift, when thoughtfully presented with loving-kindness.
“As I look back on my own yesterdays”, I am honored by the immense amount of love given to me freely and without expectation. I didn’t always appreciate nor have I always reciprocated that unconditional love in an overt way, but I am indeed grateful for the souls that have and continue to cross my path.
The holes of heartache; however, are never holes for long. There will be new characters in the plot. New friends and loves that enrich our experience in this universe and teach us self-awareness as we ride our wave.
Cheers to a new surf board and the ebbs and flows of what is a certain wave called this wonderful life. I thank you for loving me*.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMG8EVEwdA8 (You Tube, Tenors, “I thank you”)