In an earlier post, I used the phrase, “Grief is not a straight line”. Well, after a fabulous gala fundraiser event for the hospital where I was lucky enough to have my dad as my date, and we had a ball together, I felt the approach of ‘the backwards slide’. Now, while the old Mel would have made “the backwards slide” some type of dance, I instead felt myself feeling the old sadness and realization of being alone after seeing so many happy married couples.
I have felt the backslide of Seussville indeed. We don’t plan the old feelings to pop up. Feeling unlovable or knowing I am “sick” simply catches me off guard. I suspect I’m not alone. And for all of us, these feelings come in different ways and at different times.
In three months, I will head to Siteman for treatment number two, and while I am again confident inside and out THIS will be the end of the treatments, fear is still real, and my body is still not 100%. (Even when I reread the sentence, I can’t believe it is me about whom I write.)
Regardless, I found this tiny piece of peace as I changed purses today. I choose to believe, I saved all these years to bring back in a new medium without knowing where and when it might need me to reread. I delivered the following words probably 10+ years ago in a holiday card to friends. It speaks to me again today. I hope the same for you.
Most of us miss out on life’s big prizes.
The Pulitzer. The Nobel.
Oscars, Tonys, Emmys.
But we’re all eligible for life’s small pleasures.
A pat on the back.
A kiss behind the ear.
A four pound bass.
A full moon.
An empty parking space.
A crackling fire.
A great meal.
A glorious sunset.
Hot Soup. Cold beer.
Don’t fret about copping life’s grand awards.
Enjoy it’s tiny delights.
There are plenty for all of us.*
Today, I made a nice meal for my sweet girl and took a nice Sunday nap.
Small pleasures. Tiny Delights. And seeing these small pleasures take me forward once again.
What Tiny Delight did you enjoy today?
* – corporate ad (United Technologies)