A dear friend reminded me tonight that he’s heard me say the words, “mystery breeds assumption” at least a dozen times, and yet, pulling down my Facebook page and the blog did exactly that which I say isn’t fair to do. Mystery does breed assumption. When we don’t know, we fear the worst. He’s right. I ran rather than facing head on and without explanation. I pulled down communication to my friends – you- who have been with me through this journey- without explaining.
Here’s the straight truth: Gossip feels awful. Remember games of fifth grade dodgeball? It hurt. Well, it turns out in my early 40s- my life- that which I made so public with good intention- worked against me, and folks have found my flaws a game of who knows what and can spread what little they really know about my current situation for their own benefit. Even stories that are beyond possible.
Gossip hurts. And not unlike fifth grade dodgeball.
I am smart enough to understand that folks choose to do it, because in the moment it makes them feel good about themselves, and/or their own insecurities are easier to deal with by hurting others rather than facing their own. Sadly however, the person about whom they speak doesn’t feel their “win” or shining moment. We feel awful.
I’ve had countless talks with my sweet daughter about the caddy opportunity of social media, yet I opened myself up and allowed it to walk through my own front door.
No, I didn’t just let it go. I have responded appropriately (or not). Unfortunately, it only fueled the fire and continues to make me think about how dangerous gossip truly is, especially with my life already so fragile. A good lesson for my family and my daughter. A painful lesson for me.
Mystery breeds assumption. And pulling down the sites without explaining wasn’t appropriate to the thousands of reads this site has captured in such a short time. I can’t change other people’s poor judgment, but I can detach from the opportunity to be someone’s joke, and that I must do for my own future health.
Thank you to those who have checked on me privately. I will beat the cancer in time, and I will find my heart and trust again too. I will also be back when I can tell gossip exactly where to go on my own healthy terms.
Much love and peace to those of you who truly understand the danger of gossip. And for those who don’t understand, or haven’t been in this place, please reread and rethink the words you casually use that can hurt others. Cause=Effect, and you never really know how we are all connected. We all have a direct or indirect link to another’s action and/or words…. whether intentional or not.
We are not in fifth grade anymore. And dodgeball still hurts the outcast.
Om shanti (a prayer of peace, even for those who don’t know when to say no),