A good friend told me this week that his son, Levi, articulated the difference in how people use their lens on life; meaning, a microscope, a telescope, or in his case, a kaleidoscope. I love what this says about how we each perceive the world differently. Cheers to a young man with this type of thinking. Let the colors bloom!
My own world has entered tweendom (i.e. the edge of puberty), so our “lens on life” changes moment to moment. It happened in a flash. Just two years ago we were dressing American Girl dolls and holding hands in public. Public! Today, not so much. Brand name clothes, texting, anxiety over the boys and fashionista challenges.
She always knows in hindsight when one has hit, but in the moment it is occurring, the rolling the eyes or stomping down the hall doesn’t make sense to either of us. Just moments before, she has asked for ice cream or a Webkinz.
Moms and dads everywhere, how and when did that happen? No one asked me if I was ready for the transition 🙂
So, together my daughter and I have created a list of tweendom thoughts for adults.…no differently than Mr. Rogers told us in grade school (when putting on those blue sneakers with that big smile and great soundtrack), the same thoughts and approach to communication apply to all of us….young, tween, teen and old(er).
Consider the following and apply to your own partner, sibling, parent, child or friend. And be present. It’s not easy, and I see myself do the same things, but hearing my own girl call me out makes it much more real.
– “I need space that is my own and alone time.”
– “I can’t do more than one thing at a time. And if I am to do multiple things, tell me what to do first (i.e. prioritize).”
– “Don’t talk to me when I am doing something else. What do you really want me to do?”
– “Don’t assume I understand.”
– “Don’t interrupt. It hurts my feelings.”
– “I don’t actually know (even when you want me to) WHY I feel the way I do. Sometimes I’m just sad.” (Hormones and/or physiological balance are part of being human.)
– “Don’t leave me in the dark without information. I jump to conclusions ” that may/may not be more harmful than you trying to protect me. (If you are upset, fragile, angry or scared, tell me why. Don’t make me guess. I don’t read minds.)
– “I don’t want to talk right now, and it’s not because of you.”
– “IDK means I Don’t Know.” Tweens may use language differently than an adult perceives. Ensure you are speaking the same language- both live and in text.
Good luck to all of us. Attention span, technology, teendom, generational differences……they are ever-changing and without a handbook. But the greatest gift of all. 🙂
Let the colors of our “lens on life” bloom!
p.s. In a college course I taught last Fall, they told all of the instructors that how we taught years ago doesn’t work today. Kids’ attention span is 10-15 minutes.